I got the blues!!!!

Went to the bank this morning and found out we are MUCH lower in our cash reserves then I had previously thought. My shopping days are OVER!

Now, admittedly I have been spending quite a bit lately, but there should have been a LOT more money. Now I have to be good and not do anything "extra". No fairs. No eating out. No shopping. No go-carts. No movies. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am.

It's not the end of the world. We have food clothes and shelter. We are not stranded someplace unpleasant. There are millions in this world who would love to be as "poor" as I am. I just sitting here, with nothing to do and no place to go. I don't know if we're staying here, so I can't do much to this house. I don't know if we're moving and if we are I haven't SEEN the house so don't begin to know what to do for that place. So I sit. And sit. And sit. And when I'm not sitting, I'm driving the children someplace. I have no life. I have no husband (well, not Sun.-Fri.) I guess I am shopping as therapy.

I'm 46 years old for pete's sake! I should be able to stick to a budget, shouldn't I? I feel like such a failure. A big fat flop. I really wish Joe were here to tell me that everything will be o.k. Because right now, I just want to get into bed and pull the covers up over my head and stay there until somebody comes up with a concrete plan. Limbo sucks. Limbo with no spending cash, sucks even more. I just hate it.